Will my marriage work? It is a question of concern since more than half of all the couples marrying today will end up in divorce. It was not surprising to hear in the previous generations for celebrating 25th, 30th, 40th or even 50th wedding anniversary. It is a milestone in our life and now how many of us are able to cross this milestone? Now a days, divorce is a very common word to the young couples. What should we do to make a successful marriage?
Marriage is a contract of Partnership. So it is a business where two people are decided to work hand in hand. Maintaining a marriage is one of the most significant challenges to the partners. It requires lot of hard work, time and patience.
What is the major investment for a successful marriage?
Love or Romance between partners:
Good lovers are made and not born. Maintaining romance in a relationship is vital to the vibrancy of the relationship. I heard many are commenting that their partners are not romantic. In a busy life, especially if there are children, it takes considerable effort to maintain romance. But through proper planning a date night can be arranged. Age is not at all a factor for romancing the partner.
Respect for each other:
Give and take respect. Same is in Marriage also. Never ever take your partner for granted. When your partner feels that he/she is ignored or not respected and others are of higher priority than him/herself, resentment build up and it is a killer for a relationship.
Love and Respect for each other are necessary for a good marriage but they are not enough for a successful marriage. Then a question arises,
What are needed additionally for a successful marriage?
People began to think what they want out of marriage since both sexes are equally able to perform nearly all of the tasks required in a marriage and neither has to depend on other for anything. Even the issue of having children no longer is necessary for marriage since adoption is possible for single individuals. Still couples are thinking of making their marriage a long term relationship.
Conflict between partners is quite common in marriage and it is inevitable in a relationship. How do you deal with conflict is an important issue in the success of a marriage.
Invest yourself fully into the marriage. Separate yourself emotionally from your family and draw new lines for connection with your family.
Build togetherness without loosing each partner’s identity to confront and master the inevitable crises of life and maintain the strength of the marital bond in the face of adversity.
Establish rich and pleasurable sexual relationship between the partners.
Compliment your partner. Let your partner know he/she is pretty or handsome, smart, clever etc,.. which costs nothing.
Be expressive. Let him/her know you love by kissing, leaving small love notes, flowers, etc,..
I feel, a successful long term marriage is not possible through simply living under same roof for long time without investing any effort. We must be able to negotiate in the living room and make love in the bedroom, and be skilled at both.
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